Featuring Courtney Emken & Bart Emken, CPDT-KA
Concept by Courtney Emken

 


Back by popular demand—it’s MORE weird dog laws in the U.S.A. We are around dogs all the time, so we have seen dogs do some weird stuff. But, without fail humans always tend to be WAY weirder than dogs. The weirdest people are the ones that try to make laws for dogs that make almost zero sense. We picked a few, and we try to figure out why in the world people would pass these weird dog laws all across America.


Transcript:

– Hey Bart.

– Hey Court. How’s it going?

– Good.

– I thought, uh, you know, we’re around a lot of dogs all the time and people are weird, I would say that there’s

– People are weird. More than dogs, I think.

– And, uh, the weirdest people, I think, are the people that try to, uh, make laws for dogs. And a while ago we did, uh, weird dog laws.

– Yes.

– Remember that?

– Yeah, so, what time is it?

– It’s time for weird dog laws.

– It’s time for some more weird dog laws. Let’s do it.

– Number one: in Hartford, Connecticut, you are not allowed to educate dogs.

– Okay.

– No education.

– This one I actually have a problem with.

– Why’s that?

– Because in order to have a successful relationship with your dog, your dog needs to learn some things, and if it’s illegal to educate your dog that means everyone in Hartford, Connecticut has

– A dumb dog? – A really misbehaved dog.

– Or just dumb dogs that aren’t able to learn anything. Maybe it was the

– I hate it when people say their dogs are dumb, that just makes me upset.

– Maybe the person who made the law just had a dog that wasn’t very smart and he was like, we just can’t educate them.

– What do you think would make that law come to pass, though. Like why would someone say dogs are not allowed to be educated?

– I’m, maybe

– Were people bringing dogs to into colleges? Like, what’s going on?

– Into classes or something. So, it’s more of a, not a weird dog law but a law that makes you say, hmm.

– It’s a stupid dog law, is what it is.

– Number two: In Northbrook, Illinois, it’s against the law for a dog to bark for more than fifteen minutes.

– Hmm.

– So somebody like, got a timer, and they’re like – Okay go

– Go, okay, and they

– Noodle! Start barking.

– They get twelve minutes in they’re like, it’s still legal. Like ten, or, uh

– Honey, honey, don’t go for fifteen more minutes, we got fifteen minutes, just let the dog bark, it’s fine.

– They’re like, here we go, 14:58, 59

– Two minutes left! You get a two minute warning.

– Yeah, call the cops.

– Yeah. I think that’s really stupid. And it’s going to take a lot of police officers to enforce that

– Stop a dog

– With stopwatches

– But again, I think it’s one where people were like, yeah, you gotta do something about your dog.

– At some point you should come in and, you know, bring your dog inside.

– This was probably somebody that just left their dog in the backyard one too many times.

– Yep, yep.

– Right behind the guy

– Right behind the guy that’s on the city council.

– That wrote the law. So here’s you, Northbrook.

– Yeah.

– Number three: fights between cats and dogs? It’s not allowed in Barber, North Carolina.

– In what city is this? Barber, North Carolina.

– Yeah.

– So, how do you prevent that?

– I don’t know.

– You can’t! That’s how. You can’t.

– I think it’s a gang relissue

– I mean,

– I said relissue.

– There’s no law against wild cats in the neighborhood.

– You got your dog on a leash, wild cat runs up, you know, you see the cartoon where they’re spinning and you know, hashtags and exclamation points fly out.

– What might help is a wall between the cats and dogs.

– Build a wall, that’s what we should do. We need a wall.

– No fighting, North Carolina. Some want their dogs and cats mixing it up.

– Y’all make friends.

– Number four: a police officer in Paulding, Ohio is allowed to bite a dog to quiet him, as long as it’s in the line of duty.

– Okay, we’re breathing. Never bite a dog to quiet him down. I’m just going to start with that.

– Yeah. So that one’s like, this is a tough one.

– But only if they’re in the line of duty. So you can’t do it for fun or for sport, but if you’re on the job, you go for it.

– Bite it.

– What I want to do, is I want to talk to you after you bite that dog, just see how that went.

– Yeah.

– ‘Cause I’m guessing you got bit.

– I want it to be selective about what types of dogs he’s biting.

– Little Chihuahuas, maybe, but those are the mean ones. They’ll really get you.

– Maybe they’re talking about hotdogs. Uh, number five: any dog bearing tattoos must be reported to the police in Connecticut.

– Okay, so, Connecticut must be the only state in the United States that does not tattoo dogs who are spayed or neutered. ‘Cause that’s all over Texas. Like, if you get your dog spayed or neutered at a local shelter, they tattoo your dog. And if that’s not allowed in Connecticut, that means we have to stay here and not move to Connecticut, which is cool, ’cause right now they’re buried in snow. But, um, I’m just thinking they weren’t thinking that through when they wrote this law, ’cause that is

– Was there somebody, like

– Did someone tattoo their dog like just, you know, with like their mom’s name on the leg, or like, what kind of tattoos are they worried about?

– Tramp stamp. Is that where they got the lady

– You’re funny, Bart.

– the Lady and the Tramp stamp? Number six: no person is allowed to sleep in a dog kennel in Wallace, Idaho.

– Wait a second, like a plastic crate? Or

– It just says in a dog kennel, so I don’t know.

– I’m guessing somebody in this town who has a kennel like with runs, you know, like not – not like crates, but like actual dog runs was like, letting their brother, Jerry, camp in there.

– Or, somebody who had… really loud kids, and they, they were like, you’re sleeping out in the dog crate.

– You’re sleeping in the kennel tonight. Oh that’s terrible.

– Yes, but, it – it’s a law.

– It is a stupid law, but I think it’s probably because someone was using a dog kennel and either profiting from, or allowing people to sleep in like, you know, people were squatting in there.

– Yeah, maybe we can call – let’s call Wallace, Idaho, find out, you got any people in kennels up there?

– And my favorite, number seven: Chicago, Illinois, French Poodles are banned from the Opera. Baaaanned.

– French Poodles banned from the Opera, go figure.

– I don’t know, like, where do these laws come from? Like, I want to know the backstory of like where

– I do too. I do too. But I’m sort of excited about this law because that means that every other breed is totally okay.

– Right, you can bring in

– Let’s tell all our friends! We’re going to the Opera in Chicago.

– What about French Bulldogs?

– What about Chiweenies?

– Is it a French thing or is it a Poodle thing?

– I think it’s a French Poodle thing. ‘Cause they didn’t say other kinds of Poodles, they did not specify, like you could bring Labradoodles, you could bring Goldendoodles, you could bring, uh, Standard Poodles that aren’t French Poodles.

– So you don’t think it’s a French bias thing?

– I don’t know.

– So you could bring French bread, French fries.

– You can bring other kinds of French things, just not French Poodles.

– French dressing.

– All right.

– So that’s it, those are the weird laws that people have spent time and money

– Yeah, I’m thinking if you’re one of the people that came up with these laws, you clearly have too much time on your hands, and you need a dog.

– Your mother is not proud of you. No.

– Well, your mother is proud of you.

– Yeah.

– I hope so.

– Yeah, me too.

– Hi mom.