Learn to read a calendar instead of noting the seasons by whether or not I am too cold to go outside to pee. - Seriously, it's a little late for resolutions, don't you think?- Stop stealing food off of the countertops (even butter). And while I'm at it, I should probably stop dragging it all out the doggy door too. People are going to think we're living in squalor.
- Make eye contact first instead of going straight for the butt sniff when meeting new friends. It seems finesse is paramount here.
- Find a solution for the reoccurring visits from the “mailman”. I mean I know all people in uniform are bad people, but I can still learn to be civilized and not bite them until they give me a reason to do so.
- Think before I begin a barrage of incessant barking at nothing. Maybe I need to wear earplugs? It's not my fault I have canine super hero hearing.
- Distinguish between “tv dog/cat” and a real dog/cat nearby. They are both a threat, but I can't ever seem to find TV dog OR TV cat, so it's pretty frustrating for me anyway.
- Stop licking myself when others are in the room. My people might be more open to kisses if I'm more discreet about these things.
- Perfect the “Sleeping Bomb” fart that I cannot be blamed for. This is one of my deepest pleasures, so don't ask me to give it up.
- Learn to tolerate cats who are dismissive and flaunt their “no leashness.” Such teases...
- Focus more on….is that a ball, I smell cookies, is that butter? Wait, what? Gotta run...SQUIRREL!
Now that I'm done with my list, maybe I should have included talking my Mom into taking me to DogBoy's for some more training! I love DogBoy's! I sure hope that we'll be back there soon.
